Life's Highway

Sun is up, time's at hand
There's a stir upon the land
And so begins another day
On life's highway.

On city streets, down country roads
Like a stream the people flow
There's bread to win and tolls to pay
On life's highway

There is hope with every turn
A bridge to build, a bridge to burn
Here's hopin' you never go astray
On life's highway.

We are young, then we're old
Passin' through then passin' on
Like the roses bloom and fade
On life's highway.

Step by step, round and round
Never knowing where we're bound
From the cradle to the grave
On life's highway.

Sun is up, time's at hand
There's a stir upon the land
And so begins another day
On life's highway...

--Steve Wariner "Life's Highway"

When I was trying to think of a name for my blog, this song came to mind. I have always liked it but I hadn't thought of it, or heard it, for years. But the title seem to fit. My highway in life has definitely taken me many places and provided me with adventures and detours. Unfotunately, the road map that I laid out for the future, our future was suddenly useless when the highway stopped suddenly and abruptly in a dead end and I was forced to find my way to a new one that hasn't even been mapped out yet. I wasn't given the map for this highway and now find myself creating the map as I go. It is not fun, smooth or easy. Wish there was an expressway, or just a map that told me what direction to go.

August 20, 1994 - August 20, 2010

there, where they

used to be

is a thin line,

dug deep into my

skin, one that only

i can see.

a reminder that

they're still there

even if

they're not where

they used to be.

that line will not

be there forever.

but the mark

they left on me

will remain until

i breathe no longer.

--

by matt logelin

Missing You...

I miss him on Mondays. I last saw him on a Monday night when he came home from a meeting at church just as I was headed to bed to watch CSI:Miami. He needed to type up a quiz for his students before coming to bed. I don't watch CSI:Miami anymore.

I miss him on Tuesdays. He died on a Tuesday. It was raining and cold and the paramedics were worried about tracking mud on the carpet. That's all I have to say about that.

I miss him on Wednesdays. He had prayer group on Wednesday nights and there was usually a good chance he would be home earlier than other nights of the week, usually to watch The West Wing with me. The West Wing isn't on the air anymore but I think of him everytime I catch a rerun on Bravo.

I miss him on Thursdays. I would be folding laundry and ironing his pants and shirts when he got home from worship team practice. I don't have to iron anymore and there are far fewer socks to fold.

I miss him on Fridays. Fridays used to be his day off and we would spend the day together. The church took more and more of his time and he stopped taking his day off but we used to have fun just doing the mundane together like grocery shopping, laundry, exploring the city. I do everything by myself now and it is truly mundane.

I miss him on Saturdays. He loved to cook on the grill, even in the winter. He cooked great steaks and chicken and ribs. And he made wonderful fried chicken. And sometimes he would surprise me and we would go out for breakfast on Saturday mornings, usually IHOP. I haven't been to IHOP in so long.

I miss him on Sundays too. He used to get soo excited about leading and preaching. Until the leading and preaching became a job and not a joy. It was work that he loved until others stole his love and killed his spirit. They robbed me of his smile. I don't go to church anymore.

I miss him every day that ends in "y".

TGIS!!!! (Thank God It's Schooltime!!!!)

We have been back in school for a week and a half now. Alexander is in 5th grade and takes a bus to and from school. Rebekah is in 2nd grade at the new school that opened this year just down the street from us. Elijah is in the afternoon Head Start program at yet a different school and is loving it. We have even had two back to school nights already with just one more to go.

Emma seems to not mind having her brothers and sister gone during the day. I am slowly trying to bring some order back to the house and we are settling, slowly, into a routine. We are back to inline hockey practice on Tuesday nights with two games each Saturday. Ice hockey will start in about a month. And there are other events coming up-the Tri State Fair parade and the Fair itself. Homecoming at WTAMU next month (another parade to attend!). Oh yeah, the NFL season kicks off in just one more week. Hopefully, this will be the Dallas Cowboys' year, especially now that they have a cool, new stadium to play in. This weekend, we will be going to the Boys Ranch Rodeo.

Fall has always been my favorite time of year. While most people, especially my husband Matt, would get spring fever, I usually got autumn fever, usually in August. This year, I just haven't gotten it though. Not sure why. I hope once we get past Labor Day weekend and NFL games start and the Rangers try to make the baseball playoffs, well maybe the feeling will hit me. I guess it is just still hard to get used to the changes in my life even though we have been back in Texas for a year now. Or maybe it is a sign of my age. Turning 40 in just a couple of months does come to mind.

Another school year, changing seasons, getting older...sometimes this stretch of the highway is going by too fast.

Stacey

15 years ago

I cross my heart

And promise to

Give all I got to give

To make all your dreams come true.

In all the world

You'll never find

A love as true as mine.

--Saturday, August 20, 1994

Welcome to life's highway

Welcome to my journey along life's highway.

I thought I would begin by giving you a little background. I was born and raised in the great state of TEXAS. In fact, I lived in my hometown for the first 29 years of my life. Ten years ago, my husband of almost five years and I moved ourselves to St. Louis, Missouri so he could begin his education and training at Concordia Seminary to become a Lutheran pastor. We took with us a car, a pickup, a cat and a schnauzer, our 6 month old son, and everything we owned.

Four years later, Matt graduated and was called to be the sole pastor of a Lutheran church in Cleveland, Ohio. Once again, we moved ourselves, our 4 year old son, our 1 year old daughter, a car, a minivan, two dogs and a cat, and everything we owned to Cleveland.

After living in Cleveland for five years, I moved back to Texas last summer with my four kids-Alexander, then age 9; Rebekah, age 6; Elijah, age 3 and Emma, almost 2 years old. My beloved rottweiler and Matt's beloved schnauzer had passed away but we still had the cat and I had added a chihuahua to the family. The black Ford F-150 pickup was being brought to Texas to be sold to Matt's sister. I had the Honda Odyssey mini-van packed to capacity. A moving company was hired to move everything we owned back to our hometown.

It was the first move that Matt didn't organize and execute himself. He couldn't. He was already home. In Heaven, safe in Jesus' arms of love. Matt passed away in his sleep on a cold, rainy day in February 2008. The story of that sad day, well I will save it for another time, another entry.

In the last 15 years, the highway of life has taken many twists and turns. There have been hills and valleys, sunshine and storms, many miles traveled. There is now definitely a before and an after in relation to Matt's unexpected death. I have adjusted as best I can but life will never be the same because I have lost my traveling companion. My story is not all sad. Everything is just different now. There will be many memories to reflect upon and share.

And the journey down life's highway continues.

Stacey